After a bizarre
cliff side accident, all eleven members of the women's outing found themselves
hanging perilously from a rope over the edge of the cliff. Ten of the women were
blondes and one was a brunette. After dangling there for a only a short while
it became obvious that the rope would not hold all their collective weight. They
decided that to prevent the rope snapping and killing them all, one of them must
sacrifice themselves and let go, to save the others.
Well they talked about it for a while but no-one could decide a fair way of of
choosing who should jump. Finally, the brunette, exasperated by the indecisiveness
of the blondes, could see that if nobody acted soon the rope was going to snap.
To save the others she bravely decided that it must be her who made the sacrifice.
She plucked up a little courage and told the others that she would jump to save
them.
After giving a short but very moving speech that she hoped would be remembered
after she'd gone, the blondes were so moved that they all started clapping!
Three Boy Scouts,
a lawyer, a priest, and a pilot are in a plane that is about to crash.
The pilot says "Well, we only have 3 parachutes, let's give them to the 3 Boy
Scouts. They are young and have their whole lives in front of them"
The lawyer says "Fuck the Boy Scouts!"
The priest says, "Do we have time?"
I know I haven't known you very long and I shouldn't be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly.
I haven't had it for a while and I can already feel it going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft.
If you would do this for me no one would ever know.
I am sure you can satisfy my needs and I'd be very grateful if you would.
I am very desperate and I need your help.
You must think by now that I have a lot of nerve but I can feel my tongue wrapping around it and sucking out all the juices until it's very dry.
I am not going to beat around the bush any longer so..
Do you have a piece of gum?
