A blind man walks
into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to
the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry sir, but I am blind and can't read
the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from the previous customer, I'll smell it
and order from there."
A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a
greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him.
The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes that's
what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes." Unbelievable, the owner says to
himself as he walks towards the kitchen.
The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her what had just happened.
The blind man eats his meal and leaves.
Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a
menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."
"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner again
retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath,
the blind man says, "That smells great, I'll take the Macaroni and cheese with
broccoli."
Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing
around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's
going to test him. The blind man eats and leaves.
He returns the following week, but this time the owner see's him coming and runs
to the kitchen.
He tells his wife, "Mary rub this fork around your vagina before I take it to
the blind man." Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back. As the blind
man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.
"Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready
for you."
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey I didn't
know that Mary worked here?"
A doctor at the
asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he
coached his patients to respond to his commands.
When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. As the national
anthem started, the doctor yelled, ''Up nuts!'' And the inmates complied by standing
up.
After the anthem he yelled, ''Down nuts!'' And they all sat.
After a home run he yelled, ''Cheer nuts!'' And they all broke into applause and
cheers. Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and
a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.
When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked
what happened.
The assistant replied, ''Well...everything was fine until some guy walked by and
yelled, ''PEANUTS!''
A woman goes to
her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time. After the diagnostic
tests showed nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her how often she has intercourse.
"Every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday," she says.
The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday.
"I can't," says the woman. "That's the only night I'm home with my husband."
